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The Rediscovery
May. 31st, 2004
01:01 pm - Just A lot of Stuff......
Funny how sometimes when we feel like we are starting to be stuck in some trapping job that is more full of shit than a Christmas turkey that you decide to grow some balls and take hold of things. So for the past bit of time that I've been stranded with no transportation....although I've had wonderful friends who have taken good care of me on that part!!!! I've met a lot of good contacts out....So for the "more information" bit I promised. I'm beginning to follow my dream! The Surreal Gourmet is no longer a pipe dream. It isn't a restaurant yet....but I'm doing small catering jobs and personal cooking. Had a couple clients so far and things seem to be moving well. Business cards are being made up, some friends are helping on the business/book-keeping portion of things.....I just cook and get the food where it needs to go! It's exspensive to start a business so I have to keep on with my current job for a while, for both SG and then school coming up soon. Which I'm a little worried about for I'm just not sure if I'm going to have the bank to start school in the fall but I always find a way and I guess I'll do it again! I'm busy busy busy so if I don't get in touch with you, I'm very sorry, I will try soon to contact everyone for catch up and conversation soon! Take care of everyone and follow your dreams!!!
Love and chin tao!
May. 26th, 2004
04:38 pm - YAY!!!
THE SURREAL GOURMET....
GRAND OPENING JULY 2004!!!!
MORE INFORMATION COMING SOON.....
THANKS TO ALL WHO HAVE HELPED, CONTINUE HELPING, AND WILL BE A PART OF THE TEAM!
whooohooo i've finally done it!!!!
May. 4th, 2004
06:38 pm - Thinking That's All.....
Well it's been a nice day. I finally got a day off from work, can't complain about the money. The overly tired sensation I've felt lately thankfully disappeared with a little spa treatment, a few hours at the gym, and an afternoon spent with a friend having a couple glasses of wine and great conversation have rejuvanated my spirit. There must be something in the air, I guess the spring really does have the effect of love on people. Many people I know lately have been going on dates and meeting amazing people, I guess for now I live vicariously though them. Growing content with lonliness is a struggle but I do ok with it most of the time. In the past month I've begun again to sleep in my bed and obtain some seemingly normal sleep schedule, something I lost for a while. My artwork seems to show some hope, I've been painting with brighter colors and the paintings just look as if my soul is growing to be happy in it's place right now. Have really written much though lately, that's a different part of my artistic talent which when I read sometimes scares me, so I've kind of put that on the back burner for now, writing on this and in my personal journal is enough for now. Things are going well for me....I once again see a future for me, which is highly reversiable from a few months ago when all I could see was red in a shimer of darkness. I hear from so many mouths that people really can't change....but in actuality we are nothing but forms of science and science has the ultimate idea of evolution....every day we are changing physically but as human souls we have the opprotunity to change our feelings and our lifes but only if we wish for it and truly want the good out of ourselves and relationships. So here I am in the city with my dilemas, my seemingly good fortune to pull through any circumstance, the optimism of a barreted king, and the wish for my heart to find it's mate....All dreams can be real with a little of the magic self-evolution!
Apr. 28th, 2004
05:52 pm - YAY!!!
So I have finally saved up enough money to pay off my debts. As of this friday Ryan Thackston will no longer owe money! God, how exciting. Anyone in debt knows what a weight of your shoulders that is. I can't believe it's actually happening but it is! So things for me finacially I'm good. My emotions though are a bit of different story....still felt a bit lonely lately, but that's a normal part of life and my own personal situation. But I've been listening to a lot of marley and he keeps me blessing the jewels of my soul! Hope everyone is having a wonderful week and that the four winds blow everyone safely home and keep you full of love and marvelous thoughts. We are all blessed people in this torid society. My mantra and blessing is we all stick together through the good times and bad!!! Keep your head up A, happiness is coming soon! It comes in so many forms enjoy and bask in the moments you have! ;-)
Apr. 21st, 2004
12:24 am - very very confused
I just don't know. I really, really don't know. I'm just so scared of what is to come of me and my emotions. I really need sleep. Everyone have a wonderful week and you have my blessings, please keep me in yours.
12:08 am - ringing tones
copyrighted 2004.
there was a dream I wanted you to know/
times moved so quickly/
and I just lost what you wanted to be true/
I lied to you/
I never wanted to see the small of your back/
as you walked passed the shop/
I saw your smile as he walked by your side/
you were so fancy in your new clothes and old threads rediscovered/
[chorus]
I'm wondering where your dreams are/
I'm singing all these songs for you/
So my lonliness can't escape your house for two/
Did I ever tell you I missed you/
have you heard from friends that I talk about you/
have you checked up on me/
and found that I'm doing what you always asked me to do/
can we go through this as friends/
am I becoming the fantasy?/
or am I too far gone/
I've built my own independence in swallowed heartache/
[chorus]
I'm wondering where your dreams are/
I'm singing all these songs for you/
So my lonliness can't escape your house for two/
Did I ever tell you I missed you/
I miss you/
Apr. 19th, 2004
03:42 pm
By the way, I'm listening to a lot of emo-punk and van morrison [great mix]....if you couldn't tell!
03:19 pm - Reflections....
So the past few days I've thought a lot about "coming of age". Although now I'm on the verge of turning twenty three next week, I feel as if the adventure of my own coming of age is just beginning, funny though I thought a few years ago that was the time, but in my young, drunken stupor I was proved wrong. I've thought a lot about the days of childhood, the amazing summers, the wonderful and magical life I had as a child. I called my parents today and left a message with them thanking them for being themselves. I am truly blessed on the front of how wonderful and marvelous my parents were. They are eccentric, they are their own beings, they are no two people in this world like Carl and Judi. I remember my parents entertaining me constantly, they were always doing something; there was always somewhere to go and some interesting people to meet. I know now that they truly have effected how I am socially....I go out with my close-knit group of friends but I meet so many people. Funny that I'm taken back to the days when we lived on Mulberry St. in a small bungalow house, everything seemed grand then. We had a huge back yard that my father would grow every vegetable and herb possible. There seemed to be thousands of trees lining our lot. In storms they would sway like the tops were going to just fall right out. I remember all the people who would come to the house to eat and drink. My parents threw the most amazing dinner parties. Very low key and informal, come as you are kind of thing. There was always food, wine, amazing conversation [although it was many years before I began to realize what they were talking about], and I grew to understand how love should be. All my life, I've know intellectuals, gay couples, lesbian couples, transsexuals, inter-racial couples, black, indian, germany, english, russian couples....all because of the amazing network of friends my parents have. The down to earth reality of true love and compassion between friends and lovers. And for the past few years and especially the more recent times, I wonder why I have had such a struggle with love. My heart seems complete sometimes but for some reason it's not mutual from my lovers. There are so many days where I long for what my parents and their friends have.....true, honest love. I think and I know I've found my true love and it's up to me to stay honest and true for as long as I shall live, even if he is not there. For I could never give another person what I give to him. So I hold on to memories of Mulberry St. and dream of the memories to make with that certain someone. One day my heart shall flutter again.
Apr. 4th, 2004
06:47 pm - Things that make you go hmmm....
WOW! Is all I can say right now! So the past week has been very very interesting! Although I received some bad news last week over some things which some of you out there know about, I shall not divulge quite into it, ask if you really want to know. But at the same time some things came out that I shall say I am very happy with. I spent the weekend with someone I knew from back at Western Carolina University. He and I had a very nice time just hanging out together and getting to know the new people we have both become. Who knows where it shall go. There are a few factors, very trivial, but they are factors; i.e.-distance, the eternal question of are we both ready for it, and my complications! But I see us both as strong, intelligent, kind-hearted souls that can hopefully look past some things, hit the issues head on, and come to discover how great we can be. But I shall not jinx it to much by rambling on about it. But it was just a great weekend.
It's been awhile since I've kissed and held someone in my arms, woken up next to someone and just laid in bed all morning cuddling....it was nice, I must say! I shall keep everyone posted on how everything goes. Thanks A for the great weekend! Also thank you to everyone who was there for me on Friday with comforting words....my blessings go out to everyone this week. Take care and much love to all! MUAH!!!
Mar. 22nd, 2004
02:45 pm - the song......
copyrighted 2004.
Calling up a revelation with a note
from my love/
Drinking wine and fascination
on a star up above.
With a girl and dream alone
riding high up on the wind.
Thinking about days gone/
get up and go back again.
How ya feel now babe?
How's the ocean look this time?
You'll look so great/ you'll look so fine/
Come the wintertime.
Strummin down this road unpaven
with an old friend of mine.
She helps me to compromise
with a beer and a big smile.
I'm slippin' off this bridge I burn.
All my chips are down.
Aint' it funny how learn
when my life crumbles all around.
How ya doing out there?
How's the girl I left behind?
You'll look so great/ you'll look so fine/
Come the wintertime.
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